I hesitate

I’m finding starting the book to be very intimidating- what if I don’t plan out the “right” ideas to think or don’t come up with any meaningful revelations or what if I’ve bitten off more than I can chew? I can see why people often slip back into old ways of thinking simply because it would be easier. Thank goodness this is for a class assignment and must go forward.
Usually I just read and enjoy a book. There is is no planning involved, even if I’m thinking of using it for some scholarly purpose. Tomorrow I will write my goals for this project and start reading. Usually many of my most interesting thoughts about children’s literature come after I’ve torn through the book in an experiential whirl of aesthetic (Rosenblatt) and affective experience (Soter) and it’s sat with me and I think about what I remember about the book. More thoughts often come through writing and talking about a book. I’ve enjoyed the different perspective of my project that Johnny has shared with me giving me new ideas and wondering if I have time to investigate portrayals of the Black Panther Party (which I know rather little of since it was relegated to the back seat in comparison to MLK’s more “safe” history) to compare to the portrayal in my book or the author’s history to see what kind of authentic voice she should be capable of providing. It seems like she lived in New York City, which is where the story starts and then in California for a brief period of time when she was growing up in the 60’s. An author’s note will probably help more to determine authenticity than my suppositions about her qualifications. While I likely won’t be a great judge of this when I’m done reading, as Williams-Garcia isn’t describing my culture, I will certainly be better than I am now. All the same, it seems like it would be hard for people of today to judge historical fiction as culture changes over time and geographic location as well as between ethnicities. At the same time, the White Western European focus of my education has given me more incite into the past of those cultures which would make me better at evaluating so it is also likely that people of other ethnicities may be able to connect more with their past due to personal interest and felt connection as well as the possibility of being taught about it by members of their community if they received supplemental education to the mainstream curriculum which superficializes minorities if it doesn’t quash the representation of them out of the curriculum completely.